Let There Be An Ocean of Words
To fill the space beneath my fingers - "Cottonmouth", unreleased
Over the years, I’ve explored various mediums to express myself. Whether through music, Twitch streams, social media, or so on, I’ve made an effort to be genuine, regardless of how my thoughts or feelings ultimately manifest. It would be easy to say that I’ve held myself to a high standard of presentation, or that I’ve strived to present myself as perfectly as I could: kind, clear, concise, captivating, confident.
It would be far easier to demonstrate that I don’t, despite those ambitions.
Don’t get me wrong; kindness and clarity are very important to me! That said, if you’ve known me for any amount of time- or at least, between a few weeks to several years- you know I’m not a perfect person. I’m a human, just like anybody else: insecurities riddle these silly bones, and like broken strings they puppet me with great inaccuracy. My intentions are obscured by defense mechanisms, and my efforts are hindered by executive dysfunction. “Kind,” “clear,” “concise,” “captivating,” and “confident” aren’t exactly things I’m known for- even some of my closest friends’ first impression of me was anything but.
(Of course, some of that can be attributed to my age at the time of introduction. We all have something from our pasts we cringe about.)
However, each day I wake up striving to be a better person than I was the previous day. And each day, no matter what happens, I try to remind myself that progress isn’t always linear. A setback one day may inspire a solution on the next. For example: today, I’m writing to you on Substack. What problem, you may ask, inspired this?
Talking is hard.
I mean, that’s probably an oversimplification, but: getting all, or at least most, of my thoughts in a single place tends to prove difficult for me. “Concise” is definitely not my strong suit, but it also takes a good amount of effort to present my thoughts in a more visually appealing manner, like I intend to do on occasion with my alternative YouTube channel. Plus, as much as I like yapping on social media when the braincell hits just right, the most common formats- shortform content and posts- are not exactly favorable for the kind of longform thinking and explaining I’d rather do.
Substack also solves one other problem, which is communicating to my audience about the stuff I’m doing or interested in, without having to feel as bottled into specific subjects. I have a mailing list from Bandcamp- one of you might be reading this now, hi!- but I’d feel a lot of pressure to just talk about my music when writing newsletters there. And, I’ll be honest, I’m not at all interested in -just- being a music person. I love games! I love tech! I love weird niche hobbies that cost too much money! And recently, I’ve kind of loved being a bit of a jock! I know TOO MUCH about how to take care of my nutrition and fitness now!
Not that I plan on yapping too long every day about anything I want, now. I’ll leave most of the yapping to Bluesky. And really, I’m mostly planning on posting at most once a week here; whatever form each post takes, I’d like it to be insightful, proofread and edited (to the best of my abilities), and fun, somehow- even if it’s just the quirks of my Author’s Voice. Oh, and I’d like it to not take too much time to read through, though the actual length will vary on the topic and the depth of my opinions.
At the current time, I plan for my Substack to be a totally free experience. If I spend enough time and effort on it, and people seem to like what I’m writing, I may consider a premium offering in the future. For now, you can subscribe (for free, below!) to get these posts in your inbox if you want to. If supporting my writing financially is something you’d be interested in, you can become a patron or send a tip! And finally, feel free to leave a comment using the button below; the whole point of this is to figure out a new way to communicate that feels good, and if you have any ideas or opinions on what I should say, what I should adjust, or what I should talk about, I’d love to hear from you.
For now, I just hope you’ll join me for the ride, whatever form it takes. Words words words!
PS: If you use the code “oops” (minus quotes) you can get 30% off anything on my Bandcamp page, including physical copies of my album “specters”, or my entire digital discography, until May 1, 2025.
You have a very appealing way of wording things. There's a very friendly tone in your writing. Also, talking IS hard. When your brain runs fast and you've got a lot on your mind because you care about things and so you think a lot, it's easier to write/type your thoughts than it is to speak.